Me..

^_^Phindy Pop^_^

Who am I? I’m just an ordinary girl…sometimes; I always eat in class when the teacher is teaching… (he45). I speak without thinking. I force my Idea to Others. I can’t keep silent. I’m annoying. Sometimes, I do Something Embarrassed but I don’t realize it until My Friends Laugh at my foolish. I do something bad and good. It depends on my heart’s saying. Sometimes I’m tired of being a good girl who always does good job or good behavior. I want to free…But I still do my duty like Perform Prayer. I think Human Being doesn’t have to be a Nice Person but they need to lie to have a happy life. I wanna be like other girls who enjoy their teenager’s time(Going shopping, Watching Movie, Ignoring what people say, Free like what they want to do) but I can’t do that coz I’m not a stupid girl who spends my parents’ money and I must keep my politeness. I wanna be someone who is very useful to all people. My parents teach me so many lessons about life but my parents don’t teach me how to be a strong girl and It’s so hard for me(I can find it step by step). An honest person will die sooner than an ordinary person (That’s my friends Advice in my boarding house).But I like to be honest person than a Big Liar although Being an Honest person is so painful sometimes. I think Being adult is not a big choice but it is a wisdom which you can get when the life punches you so hard.. A life without planning is a Bad fate. It’s like playing kite…You pull and let it. My hardest days are Everyday…I balk at my conscience.

Having a boy friend maybe the biggest Mistake that I once made. I don’t like going steady. I don’t look for a boy friend but a husband. Coz if I have a boy friend it will waste my time. No Boys…No cry or No Crying??? Yup I like that proverb..(It must be “Many Boys are not crying but happy”. My Teacher says (Ma’am Emoy) that Boys are like husbandry coz they like to take a pee in everywhere like a dog (last word I add it by self,he34)..I don’t want to talk about boys coz it can add my sin…Peace. Why are boys created to hurt women’s heart?? Coz they are so stupid to read women’s lips. They just want a kiss from us (Girls, Young Ladies ,all of women who feel like a Woman but If you don’t know whether You are a girl or not, You may have a serious problem…Check it to your doctor please, as soon as possible). My best friends, Yup they are my biggest influence in my life…I realize I ain’t alone…Their smile can make me so real…I feel my happiness approaching me when I am being with them. We are like an Iron which is unbreakable.

Many people say that I am so cheerful but…………………………………

They don’t know the fact that I am so hurt…I almost can’t feel my body; it’s so numb like dead body. I get my head spinning. I need someone to share my worries but I am so reluctant to ask for it. I don’t know how to start it. My Devils in my heart say I have to end my life but My angels say I have to face it with my Pray...I am little confused between my angels and my devils. But I hope Allah always leads me into Allah’s Way.

I strive to love my step brother and sister but not my step mother (I can’t give her an apology). I know My Step Brother and Sister are not guilty. They are the victims of Their Damn Mom). One Day…I hope I can be their good Sister, Teaching them about English language, Playing and Swimming together like nothing happens. I am not angry with them... So why do they feel so scared to me??? Does my face seem like A Ghost?? Oh... I think it is not an exact reason. My face is beautiful enough and so cute he43 (It is not snobbish or narsis but I appreciate my self fully, wee’eee’eee). Well I hope my wish comes true…Zzzzzzzzzzz.

My parents especially my Father not my adopted father or my step father( see, I have many fathers, The advantages is I can save more money and make my wallet so heavy…Ha232. I have to say thanks God…But The thing which make me so sad is My Real Father doesn’t care about me so much…I don’t know why, maybe coz He has had his own life which I don’t include it…No Step Mother…No Sad…..

My Mother loves me so much but not my step mother, she is like a bad witch like MAK LAMPIR. If you see her at once, Perhaps you will scream out coz you think that she is mak lampir (He2222…I lie, it is hyperbole and God please forgive me yaaahhh)...

Childhood…Hem I am so ashamed of telling it…Well I’ll say it…I was like a boy, I liked Burning MERCON or PETASAN not firework coz Playing firework is like a looser. I liked throwing it near Old Man coz that old man was so fussy. I liked leading many little kids and I was a leader. I asked them to do my Commands. Playing Cooking with artificial food Ingredient. I liked fighting with boys coz my parents asked me to join karate….So, don’t play with me or you will feel the pain on your cheeks. My friends called me XENA or HULK.Ha34…Miscellaneous Name. I once punched my Eye’s Male Friend. He got A blue Right Eye coz I really2 didn’t mean to hurt him. It was an accident but I felt proud of my action coz I felt relief coz I could use my power fully. Actually…I have many Odd stories about my childhood….But I am tired of writing it…..So you can came to me and I’ll start telling it with my sexy voice from Pasuruan.

I read angga’s friendster, It said “If I am a shit become happy…So what??” Wow…It’s so amazing writing. He’s right 100%. Whatever we are….If we feel happy, everything will be okay. So Don’t believe what people say about you…Believe in your family and your teacher coz 95% They are right…My happiness is my Family…They are our feet which always follow your way. But I’m still anxious…

Why do many people commit suicide??

Don’t they think that it’s so painful to their family??

What is the meaning of life?? Is it like rubbish??

If you say “yes” You are the illest person that I ever knew…

Yup…You are far better to do it…

You feel that your life is useless, so do I.

I include a crowd of Idiot people (welcome to my life)…No…I don’t want!!!!

Big Liar If I say “Yup…I am so happy with my life….”

Being Happy is not immortal. It is not forever. I t is just for minutes…

You can count it with your 10 fingers…

What the hell am I saying???

Most Touching Life??? No. I don’t need it??

Missing your papa? Of Course. Not wanting to lose him?

I’ll do anything. What do you want for your life?

I want to have a beautiful life and make a new beginning without being regret.

Who is your hope? Absolutely My Lord…Allah SWT.

What do you need to light your life?

I need people who care for me and love me all their heart…Just it.

Would you be a part of my life?? Greet me…I’ll greet you too.

Well, I wanna tell you about my Step father. I have to admit this that He is so kind and cares about us (my Mom,my lil’ bro, my old sist, and me). I know He tries to be a good father. He doesn’t have child yet coz my mom is his first Wife so He loves us like his Children. I am so glad coz I will not have story about a bad step father…Coz he isn’t like that..(Cihuuuy…Thanks God). He strives his best to do his life with us but he doesn’t live with us coz My Mom and I are not ready to accept him fully so he lives at his own house (forgive me..But one day I will let you stay at my house, Now I’m trying to prepare my self to welcome you fully, it is so hard but I will)...He is so uniqe, his job is Make over someone else so that they will become beautiful…He knows my favorites food maybe My Father doesn’t know anymore about my favorites food(poor me)…I learn to love My Step father too…Coz He makes my mama happy and forget about her past…Well, I believe that Nice person will get a nice person too(It has happened to my mom) but I still hope One Day My Father will be back to us…Coz Only him,,,Only Him whom I treat as my real father…I am so sorry. I don’t mean such that..It takes time..it ain’t easy to accept a new father in my life.. Actually…I don’t want but my destiny walks to another side…Thank you my great step father…Your love is so white. I hope you will not hurt my mom like my father did...

Back to my House…I like to idle in front of my TV and eat some snack (Wow…It is amazing time). I like to take a nap as good as I can...he45. Well, about housework I can’t iron my clothes coz it is so hard..I need a long time to make my clothes neat..Maybe 30 Minutes I just get 4 clothes have been neat…I always wash my Lil Brother’s clothes. He likes to change his clothes and it makes the washing machine full of His Dirty clothes..It is so disgusting sometimes I think. I wash the dishes, I take out the trash, I bring my motorcycle to mechanic, and feed to my pet ( The fish and my Rabbits) but If My Sister is at home She always does my Housework,,he34( I’m sorry My Sist but I’m happy). My sister is so talkative than me. Sometimes she is as busy as a bee. Can you imagine it? She defeats my talkative...

My lil Brother is like my Father. He is as lazy as my father. I know He is so smart like my father. He seldom studies but He has accepted in Favorite Junior high school. I don’t know Maybe There was something wrong in his mind so that he could do the final examination in Basic School. Now, he is in the first Class. He is as tall as I am, I can’t disturb him again coz I am afraid he will smash my body but I can still make him cry like a little chicken ( How annoying I am,he34). I don’t know why He always listens to my words and I’ll be so angry if He doesn’t do what I say. Actually, he feels so sad about this life He can’t feel affection from Mom and Dad fully. He has to split his days in mom’s house or Dad’s house. Sometimes He feels so confused to stay at Mom’s house or Dad’s house. I know He wants One House with complete Family not like this..But…Chayoooooo!!!

My Father…Yup, he is my past… I can’t remember his kindness clearly but I can feel his affection. He is so handsome and has bright skin. His smile is so calm…But I can’t tell more about him. I’m tired of remembering my memories about my father..

I have little patience. I am often angry If I see everything not okay…I can’t control my self not to do something useless…I always get what I want…But after it I feel not happy. I act Bad, but I don’t realize it. I can’t obey the rules coz I am not discipline. My bed room looks like a Broken Plane and storage (That’s my Mom Says). I can’t sweep entire floor. Why do I love my home? Coz I find my Bliss at home. I feel so calm and I can sober every time in my bed room. I can refill my Chayooo…

I hate someone who hinders my Bliss…And strangers who ask me too many questions about my past and my life but If You are so close with me, you can ask me anything. I will welcome you and answer your question one by one. You can figure out my self if you can touch my Deepest Wish…I’ll be your true friend. Never hurt you. Always keep you warm. Would You?? Now. I have so many Friends in Campus and the teachers who love me so much (esp. Ma’am Emoy)…She teaches me something which I can’t get it in another class... About affection, making a friend, and sharing our bad time, etc… She has a sexy voice (oh God. I’m sorry to lie about this he34). She is never angry with us, She has many work to do (Workaholic but not matre,she says like that in her FS) Thanks Ma’am Emoy ( Mr Tau is still waiting for you on Green Grass). Maam Eny, She is Little Fat but she is so nice. Mr Taufan, The Excellent Teacher, He always greets us like “How Are You Today??”---EXCELLENT!!!! Maam Kiky…She is so calm and never gives up her sour face... Maam Erna.. Wow…Every one in my class is so scared with her but actually she is so nice If You act Good. My Great Friends…We split our excellent time with our smile (De-Three B.Inggris Brawijaya Bacht 2007, Chayoooo!!!))

My Pen Pals in Every where. Thanks for the Spirit..I can feel your self in my Life..It helps me reduce my pain. Kak Sharie…I do meet, hug, kiss you and push your body.he43…Thanks for sharing our bad memories. And Now We raise up together to welcome our Better Life. Lisa…Thanks for your Advice, your patience to lead me, now I can see you everytime coz you’re in malang. Kak galih, My New Brother, who is so kind…Thanks for your Nice advice..You know? I always remember it and bring it to my Dreams. Kak Maya..Well, I loved you but Now I have to erase you in my life…You don’t love me like I Love you…You make me down but thanks for giving me your attention and I know You did it coz you just did your obligation not from your deepest heart..(If You read this..I’m so sorry). Mbak Verina…Ex Butet’s girl Friend…hahahaha…Poor You…I always remember…You call me “PHANDA” coz I am Chubby,fat,and like Phanda maybe…But You’re like phanda too. Be Careful in Jakarta…Take Care..thanks for your terardrop… You often cried because of butet but now you’ve found a good man. Well.. All you have done is for me…Thanks….For Building Beautiful garden in my heart... It is so fragrant………My Friends in Boarding House...Stop making fun of me..I am not a little Girl any more.

Well. She is me…So don’t judge me so rude If you don’t know who I am…..

I was born in Pasuruan,July 17 1989. I have a Old Sister (Puput, 22, Univ Neg MALANG.FIP, jurusan Tekn.Pendidikan). I have a Young Brother (Dadang, 13, SMP 1, freshman). My Mom (WWK, BUMS) and My Father ( Tjahjo Adie ,PNS). My Step Father..Om TOTOK..Thanks for your help my Mom find her Dream, My Adopted Father..Thanks for your Money...he34...You always buy my needs..Paying school Fee and Tuition. My Big Family in Jember, esp my Granny…Thanks for not being angry when I jump and run in front of you...he45...Impolite…My Neighbour…You are so friendly although I seldom visit your house.Fore More…My Lord…Allah SWT…always gives me Shocking Moments so that I can be a mature girl..Matur Nuwun… All people who love and hate me so much…