I’m 21 now..What a surprise but I don’t like a surprise..As this life is a surprise for me, and so surprising I can go this far;) Many things I may have missed out and precious time was wasting in my 20. I thank my parents that made me born in this world..It should have a good reason for me being here.
I know I am too demanding, stubborn, and unpredictable. It is because I have been through many unhappy times where others are so lucky to have everything but some are not THANKFUL enough, And I am in this ‘not THANKFUL’ category… I fight with mum ‘sometimes’, exactly ‘so often’.
Many things I fail, such as : unable to control my temper, regret bad days in my past, love postponing things that I actually can do right now, and inconsistent. When will I be the real 21-year-old woman that I can see them behave so elegant, wise, and smart? When I read birthday wishes from family and friends, they wrote hopes for me. A friend of mine texted me and said ‘Hope you love your friends more;)’. Wake up, Girl!! You know what did she mean? She actually mentioned my minuses that I do not really care for my friends, I forget their birth day, and I miss some issues about them. I can’t put some words to describe how fool I am. When my friend is in relationship with someone, I even do not know when it is happening, meanwhile others know it. I will figure it out after some couple months, or when they break up finally. Sounds awful!
Even, when friends trick me I do not realize it. People said that I am so INNOCENT but it is close to IGNORANCE, closer to STUPIDITY, almost IDIOT ( I curse my stupidity for sure, please go away!). They can fool me and I am just like a lil girl! I am upset sometimes, how they do not see me as a grown up. I hate if my friends keep making fun of me, and I do not understand what they laugh at. I hate if other friends lose sense of humor when they are in young age like some boring grown ups. Talking about politic, fool love, and small stuff (they raise it).
Oh God, why time is running quickly when I am still learning ‘a new world’. People say that ‘21 years old’ age is adolescence age. Time to think about boyfriend, even FUTURE HUSBAND…Noooo! Please, omit the last one. Please, I do not want to ruin my good mood to write! Time to think of how much money I could earn so I would not bother my parents about financial matters, believe me it’s TOO OLD to ask for money. ‘21’ I wish I could put 2 number after 1 so I were 12. I would be a wise teenager of all. Hahaha, such a silly thought.
My dreams are changing every time as a kid, when parents asked kid ‘what will you be?’, she said ‘ Doctor’. Then, 5 minutes later the kid watched action movie, she changed immediately her dream to be a heroine who save the world, so on;). That’s law nature that kids are so easy to imitate things around. My dreams change to adjust the world. Does it sound similar?? Such a difficult question to answer, better off choosing structure exam with 100 questions than that one;). Sometimes, simple things could be harder for me and big things could be easier for me. I am wondering that my brain is not working as it should be;)
Some friends of mine ( I can not mention their name) said that I am so smart at all school/college matters, and I am an Idiot for ‘not academic matters’. It is surprising that I actually admit it. I recall all things out of my reach. I do not know why, some people say that I am so honest as a lil kid. It is because I probably spend less time with people that’s why I do not understand well what their feelings are, not really aware of which one bad people or good people as I do not meet many people in my life. I am quite selective to pick friends to be my friends.
Mom keeps asking me question ‘when will you have a boyfriend? Just wondering’, also others with the same question. Oh please, stop asking it. I am not looking for a boyfriend right now, maybe next five years I would. I don’t desire him..My life is wonderful without boys, and I am REALLY thankful of it.
My dreams are now having eating place or kind of place that young people can hang out and of course I am the chef;) Uhhhuy, so impossible I think sometimes but the angel side beat the devil side..The angel side says that I can get everything I desire, even the world…!!@Wow, amazing…I love you my Angel, keep alive and make me so Alive..Dont leave me ya…It’s hard to kick the devil out of ‘half-empty’ my brain. I think he already left his broken horns in my half brain sticking in deeply. Other side, the angel is starting to step in..The angel brings breeze wind and puts off the fire in my eyes!
21-year-old ladies, please tell me how to be the real appropriate age as 21 is so short. It’s not a joke anymore, Ya I know sometimes we need to laugh at our shelves but not people laugh at us so much. It turns to be annoying then. I experience it, all the time. How they make me look stupid and my face is so faceless. The more I go upset, the more horrible they laugh at me. I want them to respect me and tell me if I do wrong, not make me as a joke. It’s really not FUNNY. But it’s fine as my life looks so fun;) I am THANKFUL!
This is always a beautiful life with many obstacles inside that lead me to the fullest…Thanks Life, GOD!!
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