Divorce SUCKS

I see on TV, so many people are getting married. My step father is so busy this month. He is fully-booked to do some make-ups for the brides.

My mother is a bit angry when I said that I will not get married. Perhaps I am a feminist, or Perhaps I just hate all men in this world. I know this is wrong fallacies..It does not mean when dad and my step dad were bad models for me so I can judge all the men like my dad and my step dad. Even I will not married, I can have a family like others do. I can adopt some children and treat them well as my children. Should I need to get married? I can be happy just the way I am. Marriage is like a nightmare for me. So many couples are divorced and so many children are dying for the divorce. I am just scared when I get married someday, then my marriage end up in the court. I can not stand on it. I can not see my children experience like I did. It is really enough for me to have such a life but not my children. I do not think that my husband will love me forever. Love doesn’t last long. And the power of love is very weak. It can go with the wind.

I am so sorry to say this that I can not see the essential of marriage. It is always a husband’s duty to cover the wife. Is it because a woman is weak? I do not think so. I just hate if people say that A husband’s duty is for covering his wife. So many rules that sometimes I can not imagine that I can have them.

I know I am not allowed to say this. Otherwise I am not Muhammad’s people. I don’t want to be such a disobedient person. I know that God has created a good man for a good woman, and the other way around. My mum is also a good woman and so is my father, but they finally got divorced. Now, I doubt it.

Sometimes, we have to meet wrong people to get one right person. It is like ‘we find a lot of wrong answers to get one right answer’. Some people remarry because they found a wrong person in their life, then they find the right person to live together(get married)..so will I be one of them? If I make up my mind, I just want to get married once in life time. I don’t want to meet a wrong person because like I said that divorce is really painful. Furthermore, children take a big burden and their life is sometimes in ruin. I don’t want to make a big mistake like my parents did. They thought that divorce was the best way out. But for whom? Of course, it was the best solution for the parents because they finally could get married to person whom they loved without thinking of the children whether or not the children liked the step mom or the step mother. I know it is a very first time for them to be parents..They never learn it before so forgive them because they are parenting the children without preliminary experiences. They always think that they know the best, but I don’t think so. They even do not know the answer when the children ask about their divorce. It is so funny though! I just don’t like the parents who blame each other, who is wrong who is right. Then, one of parents tries to tell bad things about each other to the children. So the children have two minds, please stop badmouthing each other. Which children want to hear about their parents’ badness? No children in the world love hearing how bad their dad or their mom is. So please father and mother, stop blackening children’s mind with the stories that they actually are too young to hear the stories with their ears. It is really not healthy for children’ mental/psychology. How many children should hate their parents after they know the true stories (how bad their mom and their dad is)?

And also please, when they remarry! Do not show the display public affection in front of the children because they do not really like if their mother or their father is with other. Parents sometimes do not realize when their children are shutting themselves down because the children feel jealous about their step mom or step dad. Parents sometimes do not see it and think that their children go wrong.

God says that God hates the divorce but it is okay when the couple does not find the way out. I think the couple should follow this rule ( I mean that they are not allowed to divorce). I admire the catholic rule/concept that couple is strongly not allowed to get divorce. Though they do not love each other anymore but they should keep up the marriage. I think love can be kept as long as if there is not a third party. I am not saying that I do not my religion’s rule or God’s words but the catholic rule is a guarantee that when someone decides to love that person, she/he should keep the love till deaths picks them up. This concept is wonderful!

Still, I can not understand that adults are complicated and they are easy to make a decision that sometimes leads to the ruin. Living with a wrong man/woman that finally they are getting married to. Why is it so easy to get divorce in KUA/Kantor Catatan Sipil? The government should fine ( mendenda) such a big money for the couple to get divorced so the couple will think of 1000 times to do it. Many children will keep happy!